Aie le courage de te servir de ta propre raison !
When someone call my best friend their best friend i’m just like “HOLDA FUCK UP”
Do not be fooled by me. Do not be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask, a thousand masks. Masks that I’m afraid to remove, and I’m none of them. Pretending is an art that is second nature to me, but do not be fooled, for God’s sake, do not be fooled. I give you the impression that I am sure that all is well and smoothly, both inside and out, I’m the same confidence and I fly above all, that The water is calm and I am in control and I need one, but do not believe me. On the surface, I am smooth and flawless, but it is only my mask, always different and always hidden. Below, there is no room for complacency. Reside below the confusion, fear and loneliness. But I hide. I do not want anyone to know. I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to protect me from eyes that know. But this look is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it. If it is followed by acceptance and if it is followed by love. This is the only thing that can liberate me from myself, the walls of the prison that I built myself, barriers that I laid with so much effort. This is the only thing that can assure me that I can not provide for myself, I really value. But I did not tell you. I dare not, I am afraid to do so. I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love. I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you laugh and your laugh would kill me. I’m afraid that deep down I am nothing, that you see it and reject me. So I play my game, desperate to pretend, with a facade without insurance and a trembling child within Thurs Thus begins the beautiful but unreal parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I chat with you so sweet ephemeral subjects. I tell you everything and nothing, and nothing of what is everything, this crying within me. So when I go through my script do not be fooled by this serenade. Please, listen carefully and try to hear what I say not unto thee, that I would be able to tell you what I need to tell you to survive, but what I can say. I do not like hiding. I do not like playing superficial games. I want to stop playing. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you gotta help me. You’ve got to hold my hand even if it’s the last thing I seem to want. You’re the only person who can clear my eyes the blank stare of a living death. You’re the only one who can invite me to life. Whenever you are kind, gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you pay attention, my heart begins to grow wings growing, very small wings, but wings! With your power to touch and make me feel, you can infuse my life. I want you to know. I want you to know how you’re an important person to me, how you can be a creator, a creator to the person I am. If you choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my world shadowed by panic, my lonely prison, if you choose to. Please, choose it. Not next to me. Several years to believe that I am worth nothing erected very strong walls. The more you near me I can fight more blindly. It’s irrational, but despite what the books say about man often I am irrational. I struggle against exactly the thing I need. But it is said that love is stronger than the walls and that’s where my hope lies. Please, try to push the walls with firm hands but gentle as a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder you? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.